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| I've noticed how scary some of these internt smileys can be. I know what they're supposed to mean, but they just don't look right. For example:  <- I know it's just supposed to mean, "Haha, tee hee, I'm just kidding" but it appears to be salivating. It makes me want to get a napkin and wipe the screen because it appears to have drool on it.  <- This guy is for when you want to say "Huh?" but it looks like he's using illegal narcotics.  <- I don't even want to get into that one. | | |
| I saw this dead raccoon on the side of the road today, only it got up and did a dance. It was pretty cool. It was like, disco or something. Further down the road was a gopher, but it wasn't dead either. It cracked open some glowsticks and started raving. And just in front of my house was a deer. It did some square dance stuff, then fell down dead like the rest of them. Dancing roadkill... call me crazy but that's what I saw. | | |
| So there was this guy who came to my house today and started talking to me while I was pulling weeds in my garden. He said his name was Joe. He kept asking what my parents names were, so I told him. He asked if they were inside, I said no. Then he asked what they were doing, and before I could tell him they were being dead, he pulled out a roll of nickels and it spilled on the ground. He said he was sorry and began picking them up. He asked if I had ever been on vacation, so I said yes. He asked where I had been and I told him I had last gone to California. He then asked how big the ocean was, and I told him it was very very big. He asked if I had ever been to Santa Cruz, and been on the boardwalk, and ridden on the big roller coasters. I said no. Then he wanted to know how much my truck costs. I told him it was $12,000. He said that it was a lot of money, and that he only had a roll of nickels. I said I would give him a dollar. He took out his pocketwatch and said no thank you, I have to go now. And then Joe walked away. I picked up 4 nickels after I had begun to pull weeds again. | | |
| I was at Wal-Mart again when I noticed a trail of red liquid on the ground. I followed it around the store until it led me to the bathroom. I pushed open the door, and nothing could prepare me for what I saw: a bottle of ketchup. I don't appreciate people dirtying up my Wal-Mart. It wouldn't be so bad if it was the blood of a dying person, because they would unintentionally leave a trail of blood all over the place. Kids these days... | | |
| There was a gangster at the mall who was talking to a cardboard box. I decided to investigate, but from a distance, just in case he decided to pull something on me. I saw that in the box was a kitten. The gangster was taunting it and trying to sacre it. The kitten just sat there and stared at him. Finally, the kitten was fed up and hopped out of the box. Then it stabbed the ganster in the foot. The man ran off in tears. Just comes to show how dangerous cute, innocent animal can be. | | |
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